The Coldest Cannonball Run Record. On Record.

25 Nov

Cannonball

“Absolutely terrible.”
“The dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
“It’s Stalingrad. On wheels.”

These are just a few of the things my teammate Zach Bowman and I said to each other a little over a year ago, on what has to be the craziest, bravest, and coldest thing I’ve ever done: 2823 miles, non-stop except for gas, in an open-wheeled, wooden-framed, convertible 2014 Morgan 3-wheeler.

Why? To set — to the best of my knowledge — the first (and possibly last) 3-wheeled “Cannonball Run” record ever, from New York City to Redondo Beach, California.

It rained. It snowed. My catheter froze. (Don’t worry, it was external.) Also, it tugged. Every time it caught on something underneath the car. Why? Because I ran the tube down my leg and through a whole we’d drilled through the metal floor of the Morgan.

Read the rest over at The Drive

How Not to Flee When You Crash Your Expensive Rental Car in Italy

28 May

Morgan Mille MIglia

“We all need to get the fuck out of Italy,” is what I should have said.

But I didn’t. I was being well paid by The Drive to find out whether the Mille Miglia—the legendary Italian road race—was just the Old Man’s Gumball, with a better publicist. You don’t need to be Nostradamus to know that where there are men, money and cars—sex, drugs and crashes must follow.

Now that our supercharged, wood-framed, 1,857-pound, 350+ horsepower, 1999 Morgan +8 rental car was lying in a ditch outside the third-rate Italian village of Sassocorvaro, all I had to do was find the sex and drugs.

“I don’t know about you guys,” I said to my teammates, the shame-ridden Mr. Horn, the sanguine Mr. Glass and the fake-blogger-with-a-press-pass The Tall Man, “but I’m staying.”

Read the rest over at The Drive…

How to Crash the World’s Most Dangerous Rental Car

25 May

Crash

“This is a very dangerous car.”

Mr. Rapido told me that. He is the chain-smoking Danny DeVito lookalike who owns Rapido Car Rental, and he’s a man you wouldn’t cross even if you hadn’t seen the “Get your shine box” scene in Goodfellas. He was reluctantly offering to rent us a car that he claimed was his personal car, a car he only drove on sunny days around Brescia—the Philadelphia of Italy—a car he loved so much that its rental rate was listed online for $1,000/day.

“Very, very dangerous,” he lit another cigarette, “especially if you touch the gas.”

And boy, was it. Read the rest over at The Drive

How My Morgan 3-Wheeler Stopped A Mugging

12 May

Karate

I once thought The Karate Kid was nonsense. Paint the fence. Sand the floor. Wax on, wax off. Daniel-san thinks his time is being wasted, only to learn that mastering chores is the key to earning a Black Belt. A good movie, but it’s pretty clear that in real life the only way Daniel-san was leaving the All-Valley Martial Arts Tournament alive was if he’d brought a gun.

Then, on a balmy evening in lower Manhattan, I was visited by the ghost of Mr. Miyagi’s long-dead and longer-lost English cousin. He came in the form of H.F.S. Morgan, founder of Morgan Motor Cars, and he came bearing instructions:

Bend the leg. Clutch in, clutch out.

Read The rest over at The/Drive

LIVE VIDEO 3PM EST: Morgan 3-Wheeler Tire Test In NYC

4 Mar

Alex Roy Morgan The Drive

What could go wrong? Will my Morgan 3-Wheeler start? Will I hit a pothole and crack the chassis? Will we get run over by a truck? What about frostbite? Find out at 3PM EST today, March 4th, as I venture out in freezing temperatures to test my new all-season Avon sidecar tires and Verizon’s bandwidth on the wretched streets of my hometown, New York City.

Watch it live at 3PM EST today on The Drive’s Facebook page

What Is The World’s Best Fourth Car?

3 Feb

fourthcar

Bahaaaaaah, the French. I mean, the English. Yes, the English have always been celebrated for making the world’s best Fourth Cars. There is an English manufacturer named Morgan, inspired almost exclusively by the desire to make “Fourth Cars.” They’re ash-framed and, like the best English cars, deliver vintage styling, so Morgan —

Wait, what is a Fourth Car, you ask? Allow me to to explain in one of my most popular pieces back from my days at Jalopnik from the summer of 2015.

VIDEO: Morgan Cannonball Run Record Final Stage

11 Dec

Alex Roy's LiveDriveRepeat - Morgan 3 Wheeler Cannonball Run Video #3

The final video is up from the Morgan 3-Wheeler Cannonball Run Record, which shows our final stage, from breakdowns to multiple police traffic stops to our hair raising arrival in New York City. Did you miss Part 1? What about Part 2?

Oh, if you haven’t already, check out Zach Bowman’s side-splitting “It Was Terrible” and my hyperbolic justification, “You Are All Cowards.”

Enjoy.

 

VIDEO: Morgan 3-Wheeler Cannonball Run Record Part 2

9 Dec

Alex Roy's LiveDriveRepeat

The second video is up from the Morgan 3-Wheeler Cannonball Run Record, which shows our departure and the suffering, danger and madness of driving 90mph through rain and sleet. Did I mention repairs? Breakdowns? Terror? Fear? The agony of impending defeat? It’s all there. Did you miss part 1? Here it is.

Oh, if you haven’t already, check out Zach Bowman’s side-splitting “It Was Terrible” and my hyperbolic justification, “You Are All Cowards.”

Much, much more video is coming…